I am Dong Chuan'ai, 54 years old. I began to practice Falun Gong in 1997. Recalling these past years, I feel I have had a nightmare. Since I have truly experienced our Party's warmth and kindness, I am ashamed of what I have done in these past years and I make sincere apology to our Party and our government.
In 1997, I contacted Falun Gong for the purpose of keeping fit and curing my disease without taking any medicine. Then I knew little of Falun Gong. Since then I have been totally addicted by Falun Gong and become an addict for 4 years. At the very beginning I did not believe much about what Li Hongzhi talked about "consummation" or "going to the heaven". I was attracted by such advocacy as "being kind", "getting rid of any desire for fame, interest and affection", and I was wholeheartedly engaged in seeking truth, compassion and forbearance.
However, since 1999 Li Hongzhi has begun to issue many lections and ordered the practitioners to stand the tests and overcome the barriers. My mind was thoroughly governed by Li Hongzhi, and I was only thinking of "consummation" and "going to the heaven". July 22, 1999, Falun Gong was banned as a cult, which made me very indignant. In spring 2000, Li Hongzhi said in his lection that daily troubles were only small tests, and now it was time for a great test. I became excited and was urged on to go to Beijing to present Falun Gong's advantages. After I was taken home from Beijing, I did not reflect on what I had done, instead I managed to find one copy "Zhuan Falun" and read it for 40 times at home.
In late December 2000, Falun Gong practitioners from Changchun came to Pingdingshan to call up more supporters for Falun Gong. I followed them to Beijing again so as to prove that Falun Gong was the greatest in the universe. On December 29, I was taken back from Beijing to Pingdingshan. My son went to the city detention center to send me some clothes and quilt. He asked me, "Mom, do you really leave us behind and ignore us totally?" I answered firmly "yes". At that time I thought I had passed the barrier of "affection", so I could be indifferent to my son. I thought people around me all belonged to the temporal world, but I was sacrificing for the truth of Falun Gong. On the blackboard of the detention center, the words was written: "Falun Gong is a cult". I went straight up and erased it, which clearly showed how totally I had been bewitched by Falun Gong.
In March 2001, I was sent to Henan Women Prison for reform through labor and education. On the way, I felt very calm for I thought it was high time I sacrificed for Falun Gong. It was said by Falun Gong practitioners that Henan Women Prison for reform through labor and education was an evil place in which the police would give us high-handed treatment. However, to my great surprise, what I saw in the prison was completely different from my expectation. Everything was clean and orderly, and the rooms and board were fairly nice. Soon several Falun Gong practitioners who had been awoken gathered around me and had a hearty chat with me. The remarks from one of them had deeply striken my heart, she said what I should do was to get rid of the feelings for Master and Falun Dafa, and transform my mind. Finally they remarked that we were now standing directly opposite to our government. Their words woke me up from the nightmare. I began to recall on what I had done during the past years and what Falun Gong has done in these years. The guilty conscience came into my mind and I couldn't help shedding tears. I felt ashamed and regretful for what I had done to my country and my family. I cried remorsefully and handed in to the police the handwritten lection of Li Hongzhi which I had hidden in my luggage.
That is my unforgettable experience of rebirth. Under the timely rescue of our Party and our government, I could turn over a new leaf. When I first watched on TV how Wang Jindong and others burned themselves, I envied them for they could leave aside life and death and sacrifice for Falun Gong. Now I feared that if I haven't changed my mind in time, maybe I would be the next to burn myself.
Faced with such tragedy, Falun Gong dared not to admit that those burned themselves were Falun Gong practitioners. In fact, in Henan Women Prison for reform through labor and education, I have met personally with He Haihua, Wang Jindong's wife and Wang Juan, Wang Jindong's daughter. So Falun Gong's refusal to admit Wang Jindong's identity was only to shift the responsibility and to cover its cult's evil image.
Looking back at what the cult Falun Gong has spread and behaved, I realize that it is really sensible for our Party and our government to ban it. I should thank a lot for our Party and our government's help and saving. I also want to advise those who are still addicted to Falun Gong to wake up and avoid danger at the last moment. I want to warn them not to become the political instrument of Li Hongzhi and Falun Gong. Otherwise they will hurt the country as well as their families and they will become the miserable victims of Falun Gong.
(Pingdingshan Evening Paper)
